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Why did the chicken cross the road?


Date: Thu, 9 Nov 2000 09:07:43 -0500 


A little politically incorrect mid-week sort-of-post-election
humor--enjoy!!



VICE PRESIDENT GORE

I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the
chickens right now.  I will not give up on the
chickens crossing the road!  I will fight for the
chickens and I will not disappoint them.



GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH

I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the
road.  I say give the road to the chickens and let
them decide.  The government needs to let go of
strangling the chickens so they can get across the
road.



SENATOR LIEBERMAN

I believe that every chicken has the right to worship
his or her God in his or her own way.  Crossing the
road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be
denied the right to cross the road in his or her own
way.



SECRETARY CHENEY

Chickens are big-time because they have wings.  They
could fly if they wanted to.  Chickens don't want to
cross the road.  They don't need help crossing the
road.  In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the
road myself.



RALPH NADER

Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by
the evil tire makers.  Chickens aren't ignorant, but
our society pays tire makers to create the need for
these roads and then lures chickens into believing
there is an advantage to crossing them.  Down with the
roads, up with chickens.



PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.



JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay!  Isn't it obvious?  Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side."  That's
what "they"  call it-the "other side."  Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay.  And, if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too.  I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side."  That chicken should
not be free to cross the road.  It's as plain and
simple as that.



DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes!  The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!



ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die.  In the rain.



MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross without having their motives called into
question.



GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road.  Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.



ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.



SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.



RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?



CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.



FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How
many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?



FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.



BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook - and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.



EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?



BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.  What do
you mean by "chicken"?  Could you define "chicken"
please?



GEORGE BUSH

I don't think I should have to answer that question.



LOUIS FARRAKHAN

The road, you will see, represents the black man.  The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample
him and keep him down.



THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."  And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.



COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?
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